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A Dear John letter is a letter written to a man by his wife or romantic partner to inform him that their relationship is over, usually because his partner has found another lover. The man is often a member of the military stationed overseas, although the letter may be used in other ways, including being left for him to discover when he returns from work to an emptied house.


Origin and etymology

While the exact origins of the phrase are unknown, it is commonly believed to have been coined by Americans during
World War II World War II or the Second World War (1 September 1939 – 2 September 1945) was a World war, global conflict between two coalitions: the Allies of World War II, Allies and the Axis powers. World War II by country, Nearly all of the wo ...
. "John" was the most popular and common baby name for boys in the
United States The United States of America (USA), also known as the United States (U.S.) or America, is a country primarily located in North America. It is a federal republic of 50 U.S. state, states and a federal capital district, Washington, D.C. The 48 ...
every year from 1880 through 1923, making it a reasonable
placeholder name Placeholder names are intentionally overly generic and ambiguous terms referring to things, places, or people, the names of which or of whom do not actually exist; are temporarily forgotten, or are unimportant; or in order to avoid stigmat ...
when denoting those of age for military service. Large numbers of American troops were stationed overseas for many months or years, and as time passed many of their wives or girlfriends decided to begin relationships with new men, rather than wait for the soldiers to return. One of the earliest notable Dear John letters was written by Agnes von Kurowsky to
Ernest Hemingway Ernest Miller Hemingway ( ; July 21, 1899 – July 2, 1961) was an American novelist, short-story writer and journalist. Known for an economical, understated style that influenced later 20th-century writers, he has been romanticized fo ...
in 1919. As letters to servicemen from wives or girlfriends back home would typically contain an affectionate
greeting Greeting is an act of communication in which human beings intentionally make their presence known to each other, to show attention to, and to suggest a type of relationship (usually cordial) or social status (formal or informal) between individ ...
(such as "Dear Johnny", "My dearest John", or simply "Darling"), a serviceman receiving a note beginning with a curt "Dear John" when accustomed to a warmer greeting would instantly be aware of the letter's purpose. A mid-war reference to Dear John letters was made in a
United Press United Press International (UPI) is an American international news agency whose newswires, photo, news film, and audio services provided news material to thousands of newspapers, magazines, radio and television stations for most of the 20th ...
article of March 21, 1944. A writer in the ''
Democrat and Chronicle The ''Democrat and Chronicle'' is a daily newspaper serving the greater Rochester, New York, area. Headquartered at 245 East Main Street in downtown Rochester, the ''Democrat and Chronicle'' operates under the ownership of Gannett. The paper's ...
'' of
Rochester, New York Rochester is a city in and the county seat, seat of government of Monroe County, New York, United States. It is the List of municipalities in New York, fourth-most populous city and 10th most-populated municipality in New York, with a populati ...
, summed it up in August 1945: It has been claimed that the
Vietnam War The Vietnam War (1 November 1955 – 30 April 1975) was an armed conflict in Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia fought between North Vietnam (Democratic Republic of Vietnam) and South Vietnam (Republic of Vietnam) and their allies. North Vietnam w ...
inspired more Dear John letters than any other U.S. conflict. Later, this type of letter formed the background to the British television show '' Dear John'', as well as the American sitcom '' Dear John'' based on it.


See also

* Love letter * ''
The Blue Gardenia ''The Blue Gardenia'' is a 1953 American film noir starring Anne Baxter, Richard Conte, and Ann Sothern. Directed by Fritz Lang from a screenplay by Charles Hoffman, it is based on the novella ''The Gardenia'' by Vera Caspary. An indepe ...
'', a 1953 film noir driven by a Dear John letter * "Dear John" (Taylor Swift song) * "Dear John" (Hank Williams song) * "Dear John" (Status Quo song) * " A Dear John Letter" ( Jean Shepard and Ferlin Husky song) * Military mail


References

{{reflist Relationship breakup Letters (message) Love Military mail